Team Snug!!!
The time has come to stop paying bills, ordering supplies, doing taxes, and cleaning the bar. It is time to focus on what’s really important….the new Snug Blog! I have loads to talk about. First of all….eh….ehm….uh….hang on (author clears throat)…okay….first of all….
The bartenders. Yes! Let us talk about the bartenders.
Sully: Ole Sully. What can I say that hasn’t already been written? He’s an institution (usually on the paying side of the bar, but whatev) in this town. His likes:…em, we’ll get back to this. His dislikes: Sully doesn’t enjoy making pizzas. He doesn’t like changing kegs. He thinks taking down empties is stupid. Don’t even get me started on settling out the credit cards. He hates making hot toddys. He despises cutting fruit. I think he may, in fact, abhor bartending but I needed a “Sully” to work at The Snug and he was the only Sully I knew that I also had incriminating photos of. Let’s just say….Sully ain’t goin’ no-wheah.
Michelle: The quintessential MILF (…no Dakota…not that…I mean Modern Independent Lady Folk…get your mind out of the gutter). She’s sassy, hysterical (literally…all definitions of the word are applicable), tough as nails, uncompromising, thoughtful, and a habitually nominated (fingers crossed a la Susan Lucci) Best Bartender of the Year! Her likes:…em, we’ll get back to this…jk…she likes dogs, boots, the RHCPs (give it a rest already), the gays, big tippers, PPD and PFD, our new president, horses, compliments on her hair, breasts, and/or ass, and making hot toddys. Her dislikes: Gum stuck anywhere (as I hate it more than she does, and therefore, she is the one that has to deal with it), baby-hatin’ customers, pukers, anyone that doesn’t agree with her, irish music, parking bans, and about 4000 other things that I can think of just off the top of my head.
Barry: He’s our resident story teller. Why, he could watch his laundry spin in a dryer and then recount the most delightful tale of the interactions between his socks and underpants (I’m assuming he wears underpants…awkward). His likes: hair product, man-bags, shorts all year round (though I suspect the harshness of winter ‘08/’09 is the reason behind him sporting the long pants so much lately), ebay, and unbundling all the $1s in the drawer. His dislikes: I seriously can’t think of any dislikes…maybe country music?
Brandie: Brandie is our newest addition and she took to it like a fish in salt water (everyone knows that fresh water fish are lazy and stupid). One might think that I hired her because she has red hair, an effervescent personality, and is a top-notch bartender, but ultimately it all boiled down to the fact that she’s a girl. Girl’s are simply neater (house-keepingly) than boys. Her likes: Butterflies, Beyonce Knowles, band-aids, bangers (veggie) & mash, bungee jumping, balloons, badminton, bar mitzvahs, and the color blue. Her dislikes: (I made up most of the likes btw) me. Seriously! She hates me. All she ever talks about is how she’s going to kill me in my sleep. WTF?