The Snug Wins EVERYTHING!!!
Holy shit!!! I knew we were up for a few things in the Portland Phoenix, but this is ridiculous. I’m a little overwhelmed to say the least.
Best Bar Owner [sure, saw that coming a mile away]
Best Business of Any Sort in Maine [again....duh?!?]
Best Short Film – Live Action – 2 Reels [huh?]
Super Bowl XLIV Champion [did I miss something?]
2010 Nobel Peace Prize Laureate [I'm humbled but skeptical]
Best Friend Forever – Paris Hilton [okay; now I know someone is fucking with me].
In any event, I’d like to thank a few people for making this all possible. First and foremost, I’d like to thank that big guy in the sky…Louis Anderson. [He's so fat, when he jumped up in the air, he stuck]. jk. Mr. Anderson had NOTHING to do with my achievements, past, present or future.
No…seriously, I’d like to thank the most awesome customers a gal could ever want. You guys make The Snug what it is…The best pub in Portland!!! [well, I'm responsible for 98% of what's so awesome about The Snug, but, without a doubt, you guys are a solid 2%!!! Stop your bitchin'. 2% is a lot. Honestly. Aaaaaauuggghh, you ninnies. Why do I even bother?]