As I was ushered out of my own pub before 6:00pm (“If you’re not drinking, you’re just taking up space!”), I don’t have a lot of firsthand accounts of the evening at Le Snooge (like so many other scary occasions, e.g., New Year’s Eves, watching the Red Sox in a playoff game, or our own birthdays, Troy and I prefer to stay home with the covers pulled up to our eyebrows, clinging to each other knowing that it will all be over in a few hours) . What I do know for certain is…very slow start (would someone PLEASE remind me not to open before 3:00pm next year), Michelle and I enjoyed uber-yummy lunches from Silly’s (my god, could those people be any nicer?), pondered for the longest time why a certain someone whose name starts with “Jah” and ends in “ole” is sooooo very angry, welcomed 20-odd Nappi/Guinness crawlers who were surprisingly alert considering what time most of them started, enjoyed watching Brandie enjoy her day off, and then ducked as the masses poured in around five.
All in all, the day could not have been better…not too boozy crowd, zero vomit, only one overly-zealous-with-the-chalk guy, (unless she’s lying) Michelle didn’t yell at anyone, and (unless she’s lying) no green dye was smuggled in! Bravo Snug Custys….BRAVO!!!!
Feel free to add your recollections of SPD ‘09 under the “Bob Loblaw” feedback link!
Posted 1 year, 5 months ago at 11:53 am. 1 comment
We’ll be open at noon on St. Patrick’s Day!
Posted 1 year, 5 months ago at 9:15 pm. 1 comment
I have always had a hate/hate relationship with St. Patrick’s Day. Now that I own a pub, the experience is a bit more complex. My previous perceived flaws in the day had less to do with crowds, excretions, and general baffoonery. It had more to do with the nationality-switch-em-up thing. Not being Irish myself, but being related to enough of them, I’ve often wondered why the frenzied zealot “I’m Irish” shtick. However, now that I DO own a pub and I am legally obligated to recreate an atmosphere that screams “a leprechaun exploded in here!!!” I have made peace with the day…sorta. While I have an even greater disdain for excretions and baffoonery, I enjoy the large crowds much more than I used to. At The Snug, anyway, the patrons seem a little more silly and a lot less horizontal.
It just took a little getting used to, that’s all. I’m thinking this, our third St. Patrick’s Day at The Snug, will be the smoothest to date.
March 17, 2007…1st Snug St Patrick’s Day. Will anyone come? Did I order too much Guinness? Did I order enough? Sure I’ll have a shot of Patron to settle the nerves. Where is everyone? Why isn’t my bartender Bob here? OK, yeah, another shot of Patron sounds like a good idea…make it a double. Jesus, I’ve hired too many people to work today. Patron, Patron, Patron, yada, yada, yada…I’m eating chicken quesadillas, wrestling green dye from a customer, impolitely comparing one sorry individual to Barry Gibb, but otherwise enjoying my maiden voyage.
March 17, 2008…2nd Snug St. Patrick’s Day. Learned valuable lesson about drinking on St. Patrick’s Day from previous year! Biggest blunder of ‘08 was to underestimate the increase in business from ‘07. Seemed quiet enough at first. Had time to run out and get Michelle some corned beef and cabbage. Chatted idly with BF and even sent him on his way telling him I’d be home soon. Before he made it to the bottom of Franklin Arterial, the wheels came off the bus and I called him in a panic to come back and help with washing glasses. Three hours before the rest of the staff was scheduled to arrive, Troy got dishpan hands, poor Sven rolled up his sleeves and went from Managing Partner of a PR firm to bar-back, and I repeatedly threatened Michelle with termination if she made one more martini. Once Brian and lil Andrew arrived, the evening wiled away peacefully…except for the cash register getting stuck shut around midnight!
March 17, 2009…3rd Snug St. Patrick’s Day. I’ll fill this in on Wednesday. Here’s hoping that everyone arrives with a designated driver, drinks plenty of water, and has a wonderful time!
Posted 1 year, 5 months ago at 5:47 pm. 1 comment
…but getting SweetBaby to take a few days off is like trying to get me to lower the barstools around the tables…NOT GONNA HAPPEN PEOPLE. Stop bugging the bartenders! (I actually do have a scheme in the works that will, hopefully, satisfy all-ya-all Whiny-Whinersons [and by "Whiny-Whinersons," of course I mean "helpful customers"]. Look for the remodeling in the next couple of months. p.s., anyone want to purchase 1 to 3 beloved square, tall tables?)
I digress…
While I can’t seem to find time for a vacation…if you can…stumble upon Evan’s website at www.longervacations.com where, I’m sure, he’ll make all your travel dreams come true!
Posted 1 year, 6 months ago at 1:42 pm. 1 comment
Because I was experiencing Co2 issues and awaiting a possible service call, I HAD to go into the bar today. However, I prepared myself to do some fancy, fast-talkin’ with Sully in order to convince him to come to work tonight. If he was hesitant about showing up, I missed the cue. Due to the 84th parking ban of the ‘08/’09 winter season, he would have to park his van 4 blocks away. No worries. In fact, he had already arranged for a ride from his vehicle to The Snug. What the? He had just gotten back from a week-long ski trip. Was it THAT good? Hmmmm. I reiterate that there is a 6pm parking ban tonight….6pm…not 10pm. Yup…I’ll be there at five he says. What the…?
Anyway, the point of this post is not to illuminate Sully’s enigmatism (yes, I do believe I just invented a new word!), but to play the What The F*¢k card. What the frig, City of Portland? Seriously, it would be one thing if, when I arrive at 223 Congress Street tomorrow at 4:03pm…like I do…there were parking spaces available, but you and I both know that, if I find ANY spaces at all that don’t require Hankook Zovac HP W401 winter studded snow tires to barrel into, I’ll be teetering on a 45º ice ledge with the ass-end of my car just begging to be dry-humped….AND THIS IS CONGRESS STREET. Cumberland will be a death-defying, nail-biting adventure all on its own, climaxing with a rousing game of you go…no you go….no you go…you back up…no I’ll back…wait…I’ll pull over…oh, you want me to go?….no?…what? from Franklin to Washington. Seriously, I’m asking the City of Portland, as politely as possible, if you’re going to hobble my business with ridiculous parking curfews because you need to plow….PLOW. Not just one swatch down the middle; you can do that with cars parked along the side. I mean, actually plow…the entire road…parking spaces and all.
Personally, it would behoove me to ban parking bans altogether. Check it. Go ahead…plow the cars into their spots. The drivers will walk or get a cab home…and they’ll happily dig themselves out in the morning! I’ll arrive to the bar at 4:03pm…like I do…to find the same jaggy, impossible-to-park-in mess I always do, but with a few more sheets in my wallet cause the custys didn’t have to bail at 6f*¢kingPM!
Thank you very much, City of Portland, for your attention to this matter. You’re very pretty. Please don’t revoke my license. 
Posted 1 year, 6 months ago at 10:31 am. 1 comment
Mags, I’m not feeling good.
Without a doubt, I’d rather hear “Ma’am, we’re going to have to wait for the ambulance before attempting to remove that D.O.T/MUTCD compliant traffic sign from your rectum.” or “It appears you’re going to have a baby…eight actually.” The “I’m sick” phone call is to me, as an unexpected car-door slam is to desperate housewife humping her neighbor’s husband…paralyzed, hoping beyond hope that we simply heard wrong.
However, yesterday I did NOT hear wrong. Michelle had poisoned herself [good luck trying to pin-point the culprit...have you ever gotten the 411 on what that girl throws down her throat in a day?]. She was achy, chilled, puking; the works. Okay…don’t panic…she hasn’t actually uttered the words “I won’t be in.” She says she’ll take a nap and hopefully feel better by 3:00. We open at 5:00, so it doesn’t allow a whole lot of wiggle room, but, in general, I’m a very lucky person so I take that bet, pop a few valium, breath deeply and say “You go take a nappy-nap, Pumpkin, and we’ll see how you feel in a bit…’kay?”
That’s when my trusty little iPhone got the workout of it’s life. Tongue hanging out, fingers but a blur, sparks flying from the very sexy 3.5-inch (diagonal) widescreen Multi-Touch display as I texted with speed and accuracy on the predictive Multi-Touch keyboard. Please, please, …anyone….no?…you’re already working?…made plans?…you have a what growing where?…nevermind…please…no?…please. I exhausted all practicing/retired/paroled bartenders and started compiling a list of people who were just big drinkers….but alas…no need! Michelle napped and was well enough to work!!! …sorta. I won’t go on about her appearance or smell, but suffice it to say, I was simply thrilled that there would be a quasi-warm body behind the bar.
Many, many thanks to Nate, our Thursday night Bar Maintenance Assistant, and to the world’s best regulars ever!!!
Posted 1 year, 6 months ago at 11:35 am. 1 comment
The time has come to stop paying bills, ordering supplies, doing taxes, and cleaning the bar. It is time to focus on what’s really important….the new Snug Blog! I have loads to talk about. First of all….eh….ehm….uh….hang on (author clears throat)…okay….first of all….
The bartenders. Yes! Let us talk about the bartenders.
Sully: Ole Sully. What can I say that hasn’t already been written? He’s an institution (usually on the paying side of the bar, but whatev) in this town. His likes:…em, we’ll get back to this. His dislikes: Sully doesn’t enjoy making pizzas. He doesn’t like changing kegs. He thinks taking down empties is stupid. Don’t even get me started on settling out the credit cards. He hates making hot toddys. He despises cutting fruit. I think he may, in fact, abhor bartending but I needed a “Sully” to work at The Snug and he was the only Sully I knew that I also had incriminating photos of. Let’s just say….Sully ain’t goin’ no-wheah.
Michelle: The quintessential MILF (…no Dakota…not that…I mean Modern Independent Lady Folk…get your mind out of the gutter). She’s sassy, hysterical (literally…all definitions of the word are applicable), tough as nails, uncompromising, thoughtful, and a habitually nominated (fingers crossed a la Susan Lucci) Best Bartender of the Year! Her likes:…em, we’ll get back to this…jk…she likes dogs, boots, the RHCPs (give it a rest already), the gays, big tippers, PPD and PFD, our new president, horses, compliments on her hair, breasts, and/or ass, and making hot toddys. Her dislikes: Gum stuck anywhere (as I hate it more than she does, and therefore, she is the one that has to deal with it), baby-hatin’ customers, pukers, anyone that doesn’t agree with her, irish music, parking bans, and about 4000 other things that I can think of just off the top of my head.
Barry: He’s our resident story teller. Why, he could watch his laundry spin in a dryer and then recount the most delightful tale of the interactions between his socks and underpants (I’m assuming he wears underpants…awkward). His likes: hair product, man-bags, shorts all year round (though I suspect the harshness of winter ‘08/’09 is the reason behind him sporting the long pants so much lately), ebay, and unbundling all the $1s in the drawer. His dislikes: I seriously can’t think of any dislikes…maybe country music?
Brandie: Brandie is our newest addition and she took to it like a fish in salt water (everyone knows that fresh water fish are lazy and stupid). One might think that I hired her because she has red hair, an effervescent personality, and is a top-notch bartender, but ultimately it all boiled down to the fact that she’s a girl. Girl’s are simply neater (house-keepingly) than boys. Her likes: Butterflies, Beyonce Knowles, band-aids, bangers (veggie) & mash, bungee jumping, balloons, badminton, bar mitzvahs, and the color blue. Her dislikes: (I made up most of the likes btw) me. Seriously! She hates me. All she ever talks about is how she’s going to kill me in my sleep. WTF?
Posted 1 year, 6 months ago at 8:34 pm. 1 comment
Welcome to the new and moderately improved website for The Snug! Keep your pants on while I gather more pictures and think of hilarious things to blog about.
Posted 1 year, 6 months ago at 6:42 am. 1 comment
